So winter is over and spring has come to the nation’s capital. This of course means it’s prime porching season on W Street. Last weekend we cleaned it so that now, my favorite activities can take place in earnest. Those activities include, but are not limited to, sitting, staring, sighing, and occasionally shifting.
I spent last week in Vegas which is about as anti-porch a city as you could find (not anti actual porches..I’m talking about a lifestyle here. If Vegas had a porch, you’d have to walk through 10 rows of slot machines to get there!) No offense, but the Vegas strip is clearly one of the last circles of hell. A small tube of toothpaste at our hotel was $4.70. On principle I couldn’t buy it and on principle I had to complain about it incessantly for the next 3 days. I also made Emily walk with me to a Walgreens down a road which in Vegas means 20 minutes away down a sidewalk where we were the only pedestrians. Vegas is about as real as Disney Land and it makes me question my faith in humanity and the future of our country.
On a positive, I left up $45 which I won at blackjack from a Thai dealer.
Back in the capital, Luke and I joined a food co-op (for DCers, check it out here) where they deliver a box of fresh fruits and vegetables every week. Our first delivery Thursday was a box of mushrooms, oranges, green peppers, arugula, kiwis, corn and lots more. This is going to help me atone for my last breakfast in Vegas on Thursday where Emily and I went to an all-you-can-devour buffet. I had fresh fruit, an egg-white spinach omelette, a salad, a piece of sausage, fried chicken with gravy, french fries, beef chili, a slice of ham, and an entire pig stuffed with a turkey stuffed with fish. Maybe slighly exaggerating, but I am definitely going to hell for that meal.
I also got the MLB package from my cable company so now I can watch every single Yankee game… a fact that brings me unending joy and makes Luke go into a seizure. Other things that make Luke go into a seizure these days are the following:
- DC Drivers
- MTV reality shows
- Having to do errands
- Having to be somewhere at a certain time
- When I can’t remember the name of a plant
- Me asking ten times if he’s excited about the brisket I’m making
Things that make me go into histrionics these days are as follows:
- DC Drivers
- My insatiable jealousy of other people’s cars
- Airline consolidation
- Paying $4.70 for toothpaste (also, when my electric toothbrush is low on batteries)
Happy Spring and Passover and Administrative Professions Day to everyone!