Things July 14, 2008

This makes me smile.

This makes me cry, in a happy way.

This makes me furious.

Bullets June 10, 2008

Every time I sit down to write this blog, I regret that I didn’t just call it “Bullets.” I always want to start this blog with bullets. I don’t know why exactly. Maybe because they

• help me organize
• save me from having to write complete sentences
• look nice

As cool as bullets are, this isn’t the Bullets Beneath my Chicken Wings–although I may check to see if that domain is taken. A bullet beneath a chicken wing is sort of a disturbing image though.

I wonder if there is someone out there using The Google to search for “As cool as bullets are.”

Boy are they on the wrong blog.

Speaking of chickens, this will make your week brighter…

Has anyone else ever thought that Luke and I are just like those two old guys? The Google has just taught me that their names are Statler and Waldorf and The You Tube has just shown me this. Watch it and tell me if you think it looks familiar:

Classic.

Spring Cleansing April 20, 2008

So winter is over and spring has come to the nation’s capital. This of course means it’s prime porching season on W Street. Last weekend we cleaned it so that now, my favorite activities can take place in earnest. Those activities include, but are not limited to, sitting, staring, sighing, and occasionally shifting.

I spent last week in Vegas which is about as anti-porch a city as you could find (not anti actual porches..I’m talking about a lifestyle here. If Vegas had a porch, you’d have to walk through 10 rows of slot machines to get there!) No offense, but the Vegas strip is clearly one of the last circles of hell. A small tube of toothpaste at our hotel was $4.70. On principle I couldn’t buy it and on principle I had to complain about it incessantly for the next 3 days. I also made Emily walk with me to a Walgreens down a road which in Vegas means 20 minutes away down a sidewalk where we were the only pedestrians. Vegas is about as real as Disney Land and it makes me question my faith in humanity and the future of our country.

On a positive, I left up $45 which I won at blackjack from a Thai dealer.

Back in the capital, Luke and I joined a food co-op (for DCers, check it out here) where they deliver a box of fresh fruits and vegetables every week. Our first delivery Thursday was a box of mushrooms, oranges, green peppers, arugula, kiwis, corn and lots more. This is going to help me atone for my last breakfast in Vegas on Thursday where Emily and I went to an all-you-can-devour buffet. I had fresh fruit, an egg-white spinach omelette, a salad, a piece of sausage, fried chicken with gravy, french fries, beef chili, a slice of ham, and an entire pig stuffed with a turkey stuffed with fish. Maybe slighly exaggerating, but I am definitely going to hell for that meal.

I also got the MLB package from my cable company so now I can watch every single Yankee game… a fact that brings me unending joy and makes Luke go into a seizure. Other things that make Luke go into a seizure these days are the following:

• DC Drivers
• Robitussin
• MTV reality shows
• Having to do errands
• Having to be somewhere at a certain time
• When I can’t remember the name of a plant
• Me asking ten times if he’s excited about the brisket I’m making

Things that make me go into histrionics these days are as follows:

• DC Drivers
• My insatiable jealousy of other people’s cars
• Airline consolidation
• Paying $4.70 for toothpaste (also, when my electric toothbrush is low on batteries)

Happy Spring and Passover and Administrative Professions Day to everyone!

Partially hydrogenated March 25, 2008

Lately I’ve been thinking less about “what should I eat?” and more about “what am I eating?” I’m thinking these things (and stealing that line) because I’ve read Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food and because I’m currently in the middle of The Omnivore’s Dilemma and because I’m one of those people who reads a book and is all “blah blah did you read blah blah did you know blah blah.”

What I love about his books is that he isn’t pushing a fad diet or a way to lose weight in just a few weeks. Rather he’s advocating a common-sense, surprisingly easy concept on how to live:

Eat food.

Don’t eat not-food.

Who knew how much Not-food I was eating! Who knew that modified, engineered, man-made food product–like the kind found in delicious bacon bits that I’ve eaten just about every day since I can remember–might not be as good for you as, say, a mango. Apparently lots of people. I’m a little late for this party.

Anyway, once you start thinking about these things, it sort of becomes an obsession. Yesterday at Safeway, I discovered that BBQ sauce without high fructose corn syrup is basically impossible to find. And that saddens me… I had many many happy memories of single life in Brooklyn, a bottle of wine, a Yankee game, my studio on Adams Street, and a rotisserie chicken from Gristedes smothered in Open Pit BBQ sauce. How can something feel so right but be so wrong…so unhealthy…so high fructose-y.

So I’ve stopped looking for low-fat this and that and started making sure nothing is partially hydrogenated. From now on, it needs to be fully hydrogenated or not hydrogenated at all or I won’t touch it. None of this half-ass hydrogenation nonsense.

Otherwise, life is rolling along. Nothing too crazy that can’t be summarized in bullets:

• Cherry Blossoms are out. DC is getting gorgeous.
• My friend Courtney uses the word”hypotenuse” when giving directions. As in, “When you get to the park, take the hypotenuse.” I love it! I’m trying to use it daily.
• I love the NPR morning edition duo Steve Inskeep and Renee Montagne. And by the way, what’s with all the NPR hosts and their totally awesome names?? I’m talking about you Lakshmi Singh!
• There needs to be a word for when someone Facebook friends you, and then you look through all their friends and pick out who you know and then friend those people. Or when someone friends you, and then you notice they looked through all your friends and friended some of them. Something like “Facefriend Trolling” or “Face Finding ” or “High Fructose Facebook Friend Stealing.” Whatever you call it, there needs to be attribution.
• I had a stellar weekend in Chicago with my Peace Corps family. My friend Julie got married and we all got together to celebrate and drink in hotel rooms. Some images:
  
• Can’t stop listening to and watching this video of Fleetwood Mac from The Dance. It freaks me out the way Stevie Nicks sings “You’ll never get away from the sound of a woman who loves you” right to Lindsay Buckingham. I know Stevie Nicks is a witch, but I’m convinced she’s a good witch. I’m still more scared of her than I am of partially hydrogenated soybean oil.

Big Mac January 5, 2008

So January 1st, Luke and I are driving back from northern New Hampshire, trying to make a 5pm flight back to DC. We had left ourselves almost six hours to drive the normally-three hour trip but the snow was pouring down and they shut down part of interstate 93 so we had to use back roads. By 3pm we weren’t even in Concord yet and there was no way we’d make it. Defeated, I had to to take a break so we pulled into what we thought was an out-of-the way diner.

We walk in, sit down, I call my office to tell them I won’t make it back to DC, and order a sandwich. Suddenly there’s commotion at the door and in walks John McCain and his entourage. It was a quintessential NH moment just before the primaries, I suppose, but nonetheless it took our minds off our travel woes and we got to snap this photo:

He basically just came over and I was all “Hello Senator can I get a picture of you and Luke?” and he was all “Sure” so Luke goes up and then a member of his posse was all “Why not get both of you” so Luke and I stood next to each other but then John McCain was all “Let me stand between these two jerks” (“jerks” said in an grandfatherly way, not rude at all. Like, “jerks” with an implied “har har har.”) so we swtiched it up, then badda bing badda boom, he moved on. Lots of reporters and hanger-ons were all “Are you New Hampshire voters?” That was about the extent of it. My chicken sandwich was pretty good.

 

So though I’m an Obama guy and Luke likes ClintonCyborg29JSH8772, we both think McCain is kinda sweet. Good luck next week John!

 

 

Ten 2007 Favorites January 2, 2008

1. Favorite Washington DC Restaurant: Central, but if we’re being totally honest, it is sort of tied with Chick Fil-a.
2. Favorite album I heard for the first time but has been around for a while: Brian Jonestown Massacre “Thank God For Mental Illness.”
3. Favorite Runway Expansion Project: Runway 17-35 in Philly. Let’s get this thing going guys! These layovers are really messing with USAir.
4. Favorite “Congratulations on getting married” card sentence:
   • “To think you would find your partner drinking elephant beer in a rural country town with powder on your faces.” — Kristy
5. Favorite Idea I Stole/Borrowed: Wendy‘s idea to have a list of favorites from 2007
6. Favorite word I invented: Porchologist (more on this here)
7. Favorite Crock Pot recipe: My sweet Sunday pork
8. Favorite Expression I stole/borrowed/improved-on: “I tell you what”used at the end of a sentence (stolen/borrowed/improved on from Emily S)
9. Favorite celebrity gossip blog that isn’t Perez Hilton: The Superficial
10. Favorite Reality Show: This one is tough, because I really do have love for New York, but I’m going to have to go with America’s Most Smartest Model. You have to be smart enough AND model enough.

Ten Things That Fill My Week October 19, 2007

1. “I Love New York 2″ and “America’s Most Smartest Model.” Best. Shows. Ever. I have so much love for New York that I can’t stand it.
2. Commuting. It is all about the D1 bus. It winds through Glover Park, Georgetown, Dupont and sneaks into downtown through a back door. My favorite part about my D1 commute is that I always get a seat.
3. The Economist & The New Yorker: enough said.
4. The Kia & The Rock Creek Parkway: My favorite car and my favorite highway. The Kia really doesn’t need explanation. It just rocks. It is hard driving it through the district, breaking hearts and fending off jealous stares, but I must go on.
5. Keith Olbermann: Not necessarily objective, but I like him. I like his “Worst Person in the World” and I like that he calls Fox News Fox Noise.
6. My delicious grilled chicken salad: Chicken grilled in the Foreman, green peppers, carrots, romaine lettuce (you can tear it or cut it with a knife. Totally up to you!), vidalia onions, sliced avocados, McCormick’s Salad Supreme seasoning, a dash of love, a healthy three shakes from the bacos bottle, crutons, Ken’s Northern Italian light dressing, a glass of wine
7. Chick fil’a: Chicken makes it’s second appearance on this list. Like sweet tea and my friend Emily, this ranks near the top of most interesting things produced in the south. The south, as I have come to learn, is more than country music and layovers in Atlanta. It is a beautiful, cultured, diverse place that has succeeded in taking chicken to a new level. This difficult feat should be respected, and chick fil’a stands as Seth’s #1 pick for best chicken sandwich hands down.
8. Fantasy Football: The Capital Chicken Wings are 5-1-0 in my family’s league which is tied for first place. My main players are Tony Roma, T O, and other guys that I’m guessing are pretty good. My favorite parts of fantasy football are winning and talking smack about the Red Sux to my Boston cousins. Go Tribe!
9. NPR:If Diane Rehm was alone in the forest and she fell down, would she make a sound? You betcha. Albeit a slow, oddly paced, but mesmerizing sound.
10. My porch: I consider myself a Porchologist, and in my study of porches I can objectively say that the one here in Glover Park ranks near the top in terms of comfy chairs, views of pretty trees, and lighting.